UNBOTHERED ANYWAY

I received a hat that had that statement on it.

I laughed because, seriously, who wears “inspirational hats”? We see enough inspirational shit on T-shirts, and I wasn’t trying to conform because that’s just not in my vocabulary.

But then I got to thinking.

Wow. As silly as a statement like “Know Your Worth, Then Add Tax” sounds, it actually sums up so many things.

Self-love isn’t just thinking about how awesome you are. It’s about having standards.

Let’s be real. Sometimes you can spend so much time caring about everyone else that you put yourself on the back burner. You start becoming what other people want you to be, and somewhere along the way, you lose your voice—and essentially, who you are.

Learning my worth didn’t happen overnight, and it’s still a work in progress.

But I’m not going to sit here and tell you, “This is how I did it, and this is how you should do it too.”

Because guess what?

It’s YOUR life.

You need to figure out what you believe your worth is.

I’m just going to tell you what I believe my worth—plus tax—is.

My friendships? They’re a two-way street. A text or a two-minute phone call isn’t hard.

Communication matters.

Being a nice fucking human being matters.

Understanding and compassion matter.

It took me 30 years to realize that not only was I capable, but if I needed to, I could do anything by myself.

I didn’t need someone to rely on.

My 20s were dedicated to a relationship where I spent my time making sure not only my significant other, but my family, was always right and always happy.

Then I finally said fuck it and pursued my career passion.

They didn’t like it.

They wanted a housewife.

I wanted the world.

So I packed my bags, moved, and never looked back.

I spent the next three years learning how to do me.

I figured out what true friendship looked like. I learned who kept in contact after I left and who bailed.

And the people who bailed?

I gracefully walked away.

No big speech. No dramatic goodbye. Sometimes silence says everything that needs to be said.

And when I say I don’t need someone to rely on, I don’t mean I want to go through life alone.

That’s the whole fucking point.

There’s a difference between saying:

“I need to rely on you.”

and being able to look at another person and say:

“I don’t need you to carry me. I WANT to rely on you.”

There’s a choice in that.

I know I can stand on my own.

I know I have a voice.

I know what I bring to the table.

And at 34 years old, guess what?

There’s some fucking tax.